How come whenever I get what I THINK i want im never happy. Thats the thing i think i want it. maybe i dont. I wanna be able to say that is exacly what i want and i got it and be so happy. the one thing i think i really want i cant have. crazy

Love at first site? It is real? Is there such thing? Is there one person for everyone? The reason people always get divorced is because maybe they havent found that right person yet. Or maybe there is not a such thing as fairy tale ending and love at first site. What if the boy you think you are meant to be with is 100% off limits? Will it work out in the end, will it happen? Or are there some things in life people just arent suppose to have? So confused.

Today I was in the bookstore and I ran across one of my all time favorite books. Its called tuesdays with Morrie. My 9th grade class had to read this book. If you have not read it yet, I highly recomend this book to you.

This is a poem from one of my favorite poets and I though I would share it with you.

somehwere i have never travelled,gladly beyondany experience,your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose methough i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,

i andmy life will shut very beautifully,

suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imaginesthe snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equalsthe power of your intense fragility:

whose texturecompels me with the colour of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closesand opens;

only something in me understandsthe voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)nobody,

not even the rain,

has such small hands

E.E. Cummings

I remember when it happened,

exactly where I was,

what I was doing and how i was standing.

I remember before and not long after.

The smell of the moist spring air.

The dress I was wearing.

The last thing you told me, it will always stay with me.

I knew it would happen,

deep down in.

Nothing was registering, nothing at all clear.

I remember thehospitals,

how long you were there.

Me

Being the oldest, having to stay strong.

Nothing, ever the same after,

everything changed.

Including me.

I wish you could see,

even though I think you would be dissapointed.

Your expectations were so high,

I would never want to make you cry.

It happened in 2000,

now 2006.

Only 1 month away on this very day.

I can't believe it happened,

seems only yesterday.

We don't do this very often,

but today.

At 4:19 we sat on the phone conversating.

We talk about everything and nothing at all.

We talk about me coming home at the end of this week,

and we sit on the phone planning silly things that will probably never happen.

We are not as close as we would both like.

Someday,

the perfect moment will strike.

We don't have a lot in common,

except that we are sisters.

I remember when we were younger,

we use to talk about wanting to live together, getting jobs, going on vacation

and doing everything together.

None of that has happened but we still have time.

The best part is that we are sisters through and through.

You say you do not care,

That I am aware.

I just can't help but stare,

or even give you a glare.

I wish I could change it, maybe in time.

Will you realize that i'll be your prize.

I listen to all the guys,

their pathetic lies.

I know you say you don't care.

Yet I'm aware,

And that's WHY i stare.

A girl,

can look at the stars and also love cars.

A girl,

likes to climb trees,

and can still get weak in the knees.

A girl,

can present herself right,

but hold her own in a fight.

A girl,

cry herself to sleep,

from her you will never hear a peep.